Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
