Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
