Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
