She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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