on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
