ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
