Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
