In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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