Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
