dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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