i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
