so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize