Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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