I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
