the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Randomize
