your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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