I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
