Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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