i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
