I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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