none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Randomize
