He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
my liver is dry heaving
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize