At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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