I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
