Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
