Your dad touched me again.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize