Christians are straight up FREAKS
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
