My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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