I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
