i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
