so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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