You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
