just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize