I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
