I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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