What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
