Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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