i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
