Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
