I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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