my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
