Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
