Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
