Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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