i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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