I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize