i just google imaged poop.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize