2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
