I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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