I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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