i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
