i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
