He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
