Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
