i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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