Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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