Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.

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(210): View more from Texas

she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?

Fav 50 7297 1062
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?

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(678): View more from Georgia

He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking

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(518): View more from New York

They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.

(1-518): View more from New York

Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.

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(850): View more from Florida

Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?

Fav 10 756 1247
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(240): View more from Maryland

Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup

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(734): View more from Michigan

welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT

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