So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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