i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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